By Sarah Lawrence-Moye
From left to right: Natalie Portman, Kristen Stewart and Halsey after braving the shave.
Images taken from: https://www.elle.com/uk/beauty/hair/articles/g29659/the-best-ever-buzzcut-hair-style-moments/?slide=22
How one styles one’s hair has been the pinnacle of fashion since time began.
More recently however, women have decided that styling their hair does not accurately depict who they are. We have found a solution for this.
In 2017, I shaved my head.
I had shoulder length, bleached blonde hair and every time I showered it would come out in clumps. Watching my hair reject my head, and sit in the plug looking sad and defeated, I decided it was time to take the reins on this one.
Prior to this, I had dyed my hair every colour you could think of, and with each new colour, a new and previously unknown part of myself bubbled to the surface. I loved how changing my hair made me feel.
But what can you do when your hair is falling out? When the medium of self-expression you have been using for years, was finally irreparable?
You get your stepdad to shave it all off whilst your mum is away for the weekend, of course.
The sound of the clippers echoed around the bathroom as I watched clumps of my hair fall to the floor. It looked just as sad and defeated as it did in the plug, however, I was in control this time.
I looked at myself in the mirror after and ran my hand across my new fuzzy head. I had never felt so empowered. My safety net had gone. I could not hide behind my hair any longer. My face was exposed to everyone I met, and I felt raw. Raw, but relieved. I was completely and utterly me, and the world would just have to deal with it.
I took hundreds of selfies and played with my make-up to find what suited my new, and I found that a more natural look felt much more suited to my buzz-cut than the thick false eyelashes I had donned previously.
I was so shocked at the number of messages I received, complimenting my new look. Women were coming up to me in the street to tell me how brave I was and how beautiful I looked. My family loved it, my friends loved it, but most importantly, I loved it. I loved myself, and it took shaving my hair off to discover that fact.
Eventually, my hair grew back. I battled through the awkward stage, into a bob, then onto shoulder length hair once again. This time, however, not a drop of bleach or hair dye touched my hair. It was healthy and thick; I was receiving compliments and was having much more luck in my love life. But I found it a struggle to leave my hair alone. I wanted to do something – but I didn’t know what. I cut a fringe in myself but grew it out immediately. It wasn’t enough.
It was time for a change.
I write this, once again bald, but this time, not because of damage, and not as a last-ditch attempt to take control, but simply because I wanted to. Because I look and feel beautiful without my hair, and I do not need hair to be myself.
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